This past weekend, I visited St Thomas in Fort Totten.I got there early and Ardis and Vincent were just having coffee and breakfast and chatting. I knocked on the door and came in and Ardis said, “THERE you are.” As if she had been waiting for me, as if they were not just expecting me, but looking forward to my being there.
There is a difference between being welcomed and belonging. The world is aware of and mindful of welcoming. Every time I walk into my local convenience store, they look up and say, “Welcome in.” Don’t get me wrong, they are glad to see me, they are very nice people.
But when I walk into the local bratwurst place (where, sigh, I am a regular), they say, “Hey Reverend! Where ya been?” I’m welcome at the C-store. I belong at “Wurst Case Scenario.”
My favorite example of this is the first Christmas when Jamie joined my formerly family of four. Christmas morning there were five stockings on the mantel and my son Sam said, “I did not realize that our family was not complete until Jamie came.”
How are we welcoming people into our communities – and not just our churches but also our various ministries? It is good enough to hand them a bulletin and say, “Good morning” and “Welcome.” But is there a better way to make newcomers feel seen, or recognized if they have been there before?
It can be awkward. We think we might know this person. We might have spoken to them before, we might even, once-upon-a-time, have known their name. We want to greet them but we might be met with the dreaded, “We’ve met before.” (My friend Karma has a great response to this: “Oh, my gosh! I think that means we have to have coffee together so I can get to know you better!!”)
And it doesn’t do any good to say, “I’m glad you’re here” to someone you may not have met before – that’s disingenuous.
But is there a way to make the people we come in our many doors feel just a little more than “C-store welcome”? Can we say, “You’re in for a treat, we are singing some beautiful hymns today!” or “I saw you coming and have this prayer book and bulletin ready.”
I bet you already have your own way of inviting people in, your own words, your gestures and the inherent kindness that resides all across the diocese. I invite you this week to notice it, to use it generously, and to notice and be grateful when you, too, are welcomed in the way I believe Jesus would have welcomed us – as if we already belonged in the fold.
Because we do.
You remain in my prayers,
Bp. Shay
